Crushes and Crushed

Since I was already a slut as far as an entire elementary school was concerned, it was time to move on to bigger and better things.

My parents had the forethought to have me on the waiting list for a program that takes underprivileged, inner-city kids and puts them into schools in nice, manicured suburbs. Great. In the third grade I went to my first day of school in the 'burbs.

I had spent hours, days picking out my first day of school dress, it was fabulous! Red dress with little blue, white and yellow flowers all over it, ruffled sleeves, red tights and shiny shoes! It was hott! Until...

The bus was 3 and a half hours late! Can you believe it? I was so upset! I sat on my stoop for the whole morning watching other kids in their best outfits getting picked up. And there I sat. At one point I thought I saw the bus, so I ran to the corner, and fell, tearing my tights. Dammit. Had to go back upstairs to the apartment to change. Double dammit. I didn't have any more red tights! White tights? Are you serious mom? Ughhh, fine. Red dress, white tights. Tragic.

A friend of mine describes me as a foal taking its first steps. I was tall, awkward, puffball of hair, weird colored eyes, and a Strawberry Shortcake lunchbox, wearing those damned white tights. The ride was a nightmare. Befuddled bus driver, restless kids, and a long ride to a strange place.

Talk about an entrance. Fashionably late is one thing, 4 hours late to school is a whole other ball of wax. So embarrassing. I arrived in time for lunch, and dined on the contents of my lunchbox. I was told that the next class was music-cool! I went to a performing arts school before, I totally have this! We were going to learn the recorder. double cool-my dad is a sound engineer, I know all about tape recorders! I'm gonna be a star!!! WTF is this plastic tube with holes in it? Ugh, 'burbs suck.

In my first days at school I realized that I was definitely different. Not just because of the clear delineation of the kids who were bussed in and the native burbanites, but it was on the bus too. I didn't live in "the 'hood", I wasn't dark skinned, my hair was almost blond, and my daddy was white. This was gonna be a long haul of shit.

And then there was the cutie pie I spotted on the bus. He was dark, and had a high top fade, and was loud, and silly and cute!!! There was also the suave boy I thought was so damn fine. He had a gumby cut, dimples and a flare for the dramatic.

Not to gloss over it all, but through the years I had crushes on a few boys in school, none of them reciprocated except for that kid with the gumby cut and dimples. I think he and his partner spend their summers in Fire Island and Provincetown. (I've always loved my gays!) So I turned my attentions back to the church.

I was so uncool there too! Tall is not an attribute when you're a kid! My BFF's brother was the cutest boy I'd ever seen. A half breed like me with shiny dark hair and lovely eyes. Never go too far with him though. She had a socket in her room that came out and he would watch me change from there. Cue me becoming an exhibitionist!

We spent a lot of time together and it was bound to happen one day. Since I was already a seasoned kisser thanks to my babysitter, I was totally up for the Seven Minutes in Heaven challenge! And there we were in the closet, staring at each other.

First we hugged, meh. He leaned in and said we were gonna kiss like they do on TV, so he smooched my cheek, meh. Then he said we were gonna kiss for real-bingo! Smoochie-booches and it was everything I thought it could be and more. Until he ran out of the closet.

By the next week he had told a few of the boys at the hall, and I was a marked woman. Mom went back into the hospital, I went back to aunties, and it was kinda like hitting a reset button. By the time I came back, I was a mystery again.

Going back and forth to school over the years did take its toll. And the boy with the high top fade barely acknowledged me, only to make fun. Eventually I couldn't take the daily torture that was the bus and I convinced my parents to let me take the T to school (public transport). That was the beginning of me feeling the independence I had craved for so long and all the time I wanted to listen to my walkman and read. Good times, until I got to school.

Junior high, still awkward, still tall, but with tits! I had a few crushes here too. A couple of kisses, and a lot more of the aforementioned rumors. One boy I was totally infatuated with actually gave me the time of day-woo hoo!

He was dark and built and hot like Treach from Naughty by Nature, but as a 13 year old. We held hands a few times, we smooched a couple times, and then he turned into Ike Turner. What 13 year old hits a chick? Seriously? WTF?? He smacked me once, pushed me into a wall another time, and took a swing at me. I was actually glad that he left me for a white girl. Let her be the punching bag.

I did get a chance to reconnect with the boy with the high top fade that totally ignored me when I was younger thanks to the fact that my best friend was a total hottie with giant boobs. I thought he liked me, he let me kick him in the balls, a fact that he denies to this day, and we never even got to kiss. Guess I should have refrained from the ball kicking.

Then HE walked on the bus...damn.